empty space

I’m back here again.

my mind has been quite full 

with good things 

and heavy things 

and lots of other things

in seasons like this it is hard 

to allow my mind to land

on all the things that are good

the things that are God 

all the blessings

and joys

and answered prayers 

right in front of me

so many people 

and places

and priorities

it’s hard to keep it all straight

maybe I should lay it all out

maybe I should lay it all down

maybe, just maybe,

I should stop running around and around

listening to my mind 

to my body

to the sounds of the world

fitting in time with Jesus

as if it’s not the main source of life anymore 

I want to prioritize you, Lord 

more and more

I'm tired of the demands of my life

making this space so unsure 

I know I need you 

how else would I survive?

when I’m going and going 

through the motions of this life 

you are it 

the thing I keep searching for

the thing that grounds me 

consumes me 

holds me 

and so much more

I love you Lord 

in the depths of my soul 

I can’t live without you anymore

where are you taking me?

where I have yet to see 

though I may wander and wonder,

do you even hear me?

my heart is pure 

or maybe it’s not 

my heart is heavy

bearing the burden of what’s unseen

when I asked you to break it 

broken for the things that sadden you Lord

I never imagined 

you’d use those pieces

to craft a story that’s all yours 

that’s it

there’s not much more I can say

in the midst of this mystery 

only one thing remains 

I’m back here again 

my mind has been quite full 

with God things

and heavenly things 

and lots of other things.